


The (Handsome) Jack

by Queer_Queen



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Borderlands, Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Crossover, Handsome Jack is the Joker, M/M, One Shot, Rhys is Harley Quinn, no longer a one shot, was not expecting to continue this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-08-10 22:58:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7864795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queer_Queen/pseuds/Queer_Queen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rhys Quinzel (psychiatric intern) frees the Jack (criminal mastermind).</p>
<p>Now with bonus chapter!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Young psychiatric intern Rhys Quinzel paced in the control room. He was having second thoughts. The plan had been in the wings for months and now that he was finally alone in his head did he stop to think.

 

The Jack - preferably the Handsome Jack, although most of the newspapers in Pandora referred to him as the Jack - the most dangerous criminal in the city of Pandora, supposed ruler of the mafia group known as Hyperion, it had taken all of the city’s heroes, and some from their affiliated world-wide organization  _ The Vault Hunters _ , to take him down. He had been deemed criminally insane, and a danger to all of society, so dangerous that …

 

So dangerous that he had been ‘banished’ from his body.

 

The gleaming - stolen - drive that Rhys had secured by accident from Doctor Nakayama, head of the Etsuko Nakayama Institute for the Criminally Insane, when he had been in talks to be able to have access to the Jack for his final project. He had taken it thinking it held information on the criminal’s whereabouts -  _ before _ he had thought (like the rest of the population of Pandora) that the Jack had been hidden away somewhere, not that Elpis City’s Siren (their resident hero) had separated his mind and body for Pandora’s hero, the Zer0 - instead he had gotten a head full of the Jack.

 

And now his plan,  _ their plan _ , could be complete, between him and the Jack’s old body sat the drive which held the Jack’s consciousness.

 

But … he was having second thoughts.

 

If he did this, he would probably die (the Jack had attempted to hide his true desire to destroy Rhys from him, but you can’t hide much from someone when you are sharing a body) as would the others in Nakayma Asylum.

 

Honestly he was more worried about his friends than himself … but … did it really matter if Yvette, the attentive guard, was killed in a prison break? Surely it was to be expected, after all she did sign up for a dangerous job. And Vaughn, the cafeteria worker, he could have got a job anywhere else, and yet he didn’t.

 

But even his thoughts didn’t stop him from picking up the drive and plugging it in. He watched, detached as the files from the drive flowed into their original body, turning the body -  _ corpse _ \- animated.

 

After all he was in love.

 

Surely it was better to let your love kill you than dissapoint them?

 

The body stepped out of the chamber and looked down at Rhys. His arm stretched out and his harsh, cold, fingers wrapped around Rhys’s throat.

 

“Are you going to kill me, Mister Jay?” He didn’t fear it, even as the hands began to tighten.

  
The Jack grinned, “Oh boyo, we’re going to have so. Much. fun.”


	2. Meeting the BFF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BOOM! Bet that shocked you!

Rhys’s second stint at the Nakayama Institute leads to him meeting his best. Friend. Ever. 

 

It’d been the second time he was incarcerated for his various …  _ activities _ … with Jack. The first being a mind-turning event which started with Nakayama himself coming to Rhys to tell him how disappointed he was in him and ending with Jack coming to bust Rhys out of Nakayama’s himself! It was utterly, completely romantic! His awful two-weeks had ended with a hostage situation in Pandora’s first church, only to run off laughing when that dumb-dumb Zer0 had appeared with the rest of his damn number family. 

 

At the beginning of his second incarceration all Rhys had to keep himself company was the reminder of Jack’s warm soft hands, he had been locked in solitary for biting a guard’s ear off. That was when he met  _ her _ .

 

It was after lights out, and Rhys was just settling in when a voice crept into his ears.

 

“So you’re Jack’s new squeeze, eh?”

 

His answer was automatic, “That’s Mister Handsome Jack, to you.”

 

The chuckle was low, dry and throaty, “Well my first guess was correct then.”

 

He was curious, “Guess?”

 

“Over why he kept you around.”

 

There was an infuriating pause, where Rhys just glared at the cement wall across from him. The silence stretched, Rhys furiously holding his tongue. This mysterious voice was clearly another one of  _ those _ , like the first psychiatrists that the Nakayama administration had thrust at him, ‘ _ He doesn’t love you _ ’, ‘ _ he’ll kill you when he get’s bored _ ’, ‘ _ you threw away your future for no good reason _ ’, yeah well, maybe he didn’t  **want** that kind of future, a damn nine to five job which slowly sucked out his soul before he got married and slowly suffocated over normality. Gross. Thanks but no thanks, he’ll stick with Mister Jay.

 

Finally there was a sigh, “Look kid, you’ve got to not let people push your buttons like that.” Another sigh, “These brutes here, if they find what hurts you they’ll just keep pushing and tugging at it, shoving as much  _ shit _ as they can into the wound until it festers.”

 

“I know.”

 

The snort was derisive, “Please, I’ve seen your mugshot in the paper, you are a fucking puppy, in a world of skags and bullymongs, you don’t know shit.”

 

“Yeah, I’m a puppy, but I’m a puppy who has a former degree and worked at this damn institute.” He paused and smiled, “Clearly  _ you _ haven’t read the papers.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Doctor Rhys Quinzel, at your service.”

 

There was a much harsher laugh, “Man I can’t wait to tell my sister this, not only can’t the damn Nakayamans cure us, they can’t protect their own.”

 

“Your sister?”

 

“Yeah, we are both a part of pandora’s villainous wildlife.”

 

“Skags or bullymongs?”

 

Her answering chuckle was warm.

 

…

 

Later, after they had been let out of solitary, Rhys found himself hanging out with the other woman, listening to her stories, and just generally having fun. They were walking around one of the Eastern wings, heading towards the activity room - at her insistence for them to  _ do something  _ with their time.

 

Finally he asked her what had been bugging him, “What were your guesses?”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“Before, in solitary, you said that there were a few guesses over why he kept me.”

 

“You really want to know?”

 

“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t.”

 

“My first guess was that you were smart enough to survive around him, and my second guess, well that turned out to be true too.”

 

Rhys rolled his eyes, “And?”

 

Suddenly Rhys is pushed up against the wall, “And my second guess was that your ass was so good that he just couldn’t kill ya.” Her lips are against his ear and suddenly he feels slightly uncomfortable.

 

“It’s not that you're not a great girl or anything, but I  _ am _ in a relationship.”

 

Sasha sighs and moves back to look him in the face, disregarding the guards who are moving to intercept her, “Oh I know honey, I’m just waiting for Fiona to take a fucking hint.”

 

“Wha-”

 

And then she braces herself against the wall as the sound of something  _ like  _ a gun firing but  _ not  _ a gun sounds “Hold on,” she hisses, before the wall is suddenly torn away from the building, bringing Sasha and Rhys with it.

 

Rhys is pretty sure he is screaming as their impromptu-skateboard careens down the slopes that surround Nakayama’s but he’s also pretty sure that Sasha is swearing too hard to care.

 

Finally they come to a careening stop where another woman quickly comes forward with bolt cutters, “Jeseus Fiona that took way too fucking long,” snarls Sasha as the metal bands that Rhys had not noticed till this moment are snapped off.

 

“This place is a fortress, I am a  _ cat thief, _ not a rampaging moron.”

 

But Rhys doesn’t care anymore because suddenly Sasha smells really amazing, he barely notices as her skin tinges purple and her hair floats in some kind of ethereal mist. Holy shit she is really hot. 

 

“And who the fuck is this?”

 

Rhys watches, captivated as Sasha calmly takes the bolt cutters and moves over to Rhys’s prone form. She croches above him, “Oh honey … the toxins are taking effect  _ way  _ too fast.” And before he can even puzzle out that strange statement, the bolt cutters are quickly coming down over his head, knocking him unconscious.

 

…

  
And that is how Rhys wakes up in Thorn and Black Cat’s layer, after being injected with some anti-toxins from Thorn’s natural Iridium state. He then proceeds to hang out with his new best friend and her sister for a couple weeks before waltzing back to Mister Jay after he hears about him hanging around  _ some girl _ (kidnapping) on the news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh whoops guess who added a totally unplanned chapter???
> 
> new characters:  
> Sasha (AKA Thorn) --> Poison Ivy  
> Fiona (AKA Black Cat) --> Catwoman  
> Numbers --> Basically alternate universe Batfam is now the numbers fam

**Author's Note:**

> Handsome Jack = The Joker  
> Rhys = Harley Quinn  
> Nakayma = Doctor Arkham  
> Siren = Superman  
> Zer0 = Batman  
> Vault Hunters = Justice League
> 
> ENJOY!


End file.
